I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
