It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
