Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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