First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
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What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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