please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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