someone get that fucking seahorse.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
