I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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