I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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