I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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