READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
