you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
