you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
