Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You may now shotgun with the bride
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
