Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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