office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
