"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize