Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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