...so i touched it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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