Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
