its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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