And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
