No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
