i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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