I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
