i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
