I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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