In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
