The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
