Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
