He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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