Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize