another moral hangover. fuck.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
