you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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