I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
