Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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