How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
