You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
