Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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