I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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