Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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