About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
