Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You're ridiculous

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Your hot

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  (586): You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here. (248): You're ridiculous (586): Your hot http://tfl.nu/tqwg
  Replies (3) Good night (1519) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her

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  (603): She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her http://tfl.nu/d3n8
  Replies (32) Good night (4230) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.

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  (801): She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid. http://tfl.nu/lqbk
  Replies (11) Good night (777) Bad night (2536)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.

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  (512): We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment. http://tfl.nu/imr3
  Replies (43) Good night (1801) Bad night (5680)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.

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  (703): I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk. http://tfl.nu/xfwn
  Replies (8) Good night (785) Bad night (5599)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?

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  (612): Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife? http://tfl.nu/rjpj
  Replies (34) Good night (2174) Bad night (8469)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.

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  (262): Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security. http://tfl.nu/k9qf
  Replies (9) Good night (1100) Bad night (3414)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS

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  (508): so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS http://tfl.nu/purw
  Replies (11) Good night (1517) Bad night (3443)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.

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  (970): Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose. http://tfl.nu/6jp2
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (1956)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles

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  (631): You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles http://tfl.nu/nfjp
  Replies (12) Good night (2662) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.

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  (248): I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night. http://tfl.nu/xi8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1406) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool

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  (919): Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool http://tfl.nu/1a3e
  Replies (1) Good night (930) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.

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  (248): People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves. http://tfl.nu/gb5a
  Replies (2) Good night (398) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."

  (404): View more from Georgia

  That's how I look going for the pbr.

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  (404): I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there." (404): That's how I look going for the pbr. http://tfl.nu/2uqj
  Replies (11) Good night (967) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  New vibrator arrived today.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who are these wee mortals we call men?

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  (717): New vibrator arrived today. (1-717): How was it? (717): Who are these wee mortals we call men? http://tfl.nu/0kg2
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (107)

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