I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.