Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch

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  (612): that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch http://tfl.nu/s0rx
  Replies (11) Good night (1275) Bad night (713)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.

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  (443): her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way. http://tfl.nu/3gxo
  Replies (5) Good night (789) Bad night (1833)
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  (415): View more from California

  i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.

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  (415): i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break. http://tfl.nu/4rzb
  Replies (16) Good night (1351) Bad night (4346)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?

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  (989): I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel? http://tfl.nu/82ko
  Replies (10) Good night (1226) Bad night (3964)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him

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  (260): A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him http://tfl.nu/k8ud
  Replies (25) Good night (1765) Bad night (6682)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

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  (402): Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown. http://tfl.nu/l3ul
  Replies (49) Good night (2441) Bad night (5499)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.

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  (317): He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/3k3l
  Replies (8) Good night (964) Bad night (3777)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Sad Megan is Sad

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  Have you been drinking my beer?

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  (864): Sad Megan is Sad (1-864): Have you been drinking my beer? http://tfl.nu/x7xq
  Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (597)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable

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  (229): Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable http://tfl.nu/1o17
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (1131)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.

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  (801): I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird. http://tfl.nu/5cem
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (896)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?

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  (602): You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me? http://tfl.nu/mi92
  Replies (9) Good night (882) Bad night (4645)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish

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  (276): Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish http://tfl.nu/p7ll
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (754)
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  (523): View more from

  I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower

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  (523): I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower http://tfl.nu/3y30
  Replies (4) Good night (763) Bad night (318)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"

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  (315): Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick" http://tfl.nu/b4qj
  Replies (0) Good night (388) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle

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  (301): Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle http://tfl.nu/p4yo
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (381)

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