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• (585): View more from New York

  My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*

  (310): View more from California

  Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.

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• (516): View more from New York

  You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.

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• (310): View more from California

  My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Hey, I'm your guy

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  someone needs to name a hurricane after you

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town

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