Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
