nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
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We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
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Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids