Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead