Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
