She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
