That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
