I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
