Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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