i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
