but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
