I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
