you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
