it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
