So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
