uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes