My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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