Jerry, you need to find god
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite