talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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