margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
