Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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