By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
