who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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