none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize