sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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