I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
