She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
